Posts
I saw a post on Facebook which states "#MeToo... Several Times". I was confused. What is that all about? I ignored and I forgot about it. A few hours later, I saw another post with the MeToo hashtag. I did a little google and got some idea. I thought for a moment: "Should I or I should not?" I decided on negative. I decided to do nothing. I have more than 300 friends on Facebook and I saw the Hashtag only 5times, till now. So, I guess, all of my friends think alike!But what are we thinking?
I assume #MeToo is a movement to understand the magnitude of sexual assault or violence. But, wait! What the Data says here? Only 5 out of 330 of my friends have voiced their concern which is just 1.5%. So, how are we going to infer on the degree of this problem when we do not have the real data?
I was born and brought up in a small industrial town in India, in a middle-class family. Most of the time I was accompanied either by my mom or my dad or my sister. Still, I have experienced Fear, Embarrassment, and Anxiety. I did not know about sexual harassment. I just knew that I was encountering that behavior since I was a GIRL. Oh Okay! Now, I have learned that even MEN can be a victim of Sexual Violence. But, as per my culture, my upbringing and my life, I have never seen a guy getting a crude comment on the road or getting elbowed in a bus. So yes, all my views and perceptions are based on a small-town girl who has lived through this.
The town, where I was brought up, is SAFE for women. There are no incidents of sexual violence, at least nothing that we are aware of. We never stayed out at night. There was no scope either. But there was the culture of guys assembling in a club or by the side of the road for chit-chats, infamously called "ADDA". There were different 'Addas' for different age group and different sets of people, at different places. Even, the purpose is different. I have always seen those "Addas" as the gathering for the street-side-Romeos. They sit there to tease passing girls with their comments, whistles and gawk. I remember, how I used to stop breathing for those few seconds if I had to pass by a "Romeo" group. I hoped that if I could stop my breath for a few seconds, I could let those stare and comments pass by. But how stupid an act was that? Do you call that a Sexual Harassment? I did not know! Still, I am not sure. And, I bet many of my friends still don't consider that as a Sexual Harassment and that's why no #MeToo.
When I completed my school, I moved to Kolkata for my college. The first time, I was all alone in the city. I was the shy girl from a small town. I have stayed at a paying guest and also in a hostel. I have traveled alone. I studied in an Engineering college where girls: boys ratio was 1:10.I have lived through the sexual assault everywhere and every day. I have experienced men of all age hovering on me on a crowded bus. I never understood what a perverted pleasure a man gets feeling hard in a bus full of unknown people and letting a girl know that she is the reason. I have felt anger, humility every day. I had planned on raising my voice. But most of the times, I couldn't. I got down before my stop and rode another bus and bought another ticket. I walked to my stop, many times. I was ashamed to talk about it. I was embarrassed to make a scene out of it. I practiced many times to protest. But, on the crime scene, I was silent. I knew it was not my fault. But, I was never taught to stand for myself. Do you call that a Sexual Assault? I did not know! Still, I am not sure. And, I bet many of my friends still don't consider that as a Sexual Assault and that's why no #MeToo.
I completed my degree and started working. I promoted myself to a taxi or an auto since I was getting a good amount of salary. But, that heinous act did not stop. I was still a commodity to stare at. I still heard nasty comments. I was still touched. I learned that a man's distorted behavior does not depend on age or education or the dress a girl is wearing. It's an illness and it can infect anyone. The guy who was trying to touch my boobs in an auto, hiding his hand under his bag, worked in the same MNC where I worked. I tagged that man as ILL. I took a rickshaw to my home from a nearby railway station on a sunny day. I got down at my home and took out my purse to pay that above 50-year-old man. "Your pant Zip is open" the man commented with an evil smile on his face and pointing out a finger. I was flustered. I did not know how to react. My ears turned red in pain and mortification and anger. I threw the money at him and ran inside. Even, After 15 years of that incident and 12,601KM away, I am struggling while writing it down. Still, I don't understand what sadistic pleasure he got with that comment. Guess what, I was wearing a salwar suit that day. Do you consider all these incidents as Sexual Harassment? I did not know. Still, I don't understand and sadly that's why a no #MeToo.
Today, I do not travel in a public transport. I am married. I stay in United States where I drive. I do not encounter a harassment in my daily life. But I am a mom of a Girl and I know it is my responsibility to protect my child. I know, I can't be with her every time she hears a sexual comment. She will have to win her own battle and figure out a way that suits her nature, her judgment. What I can do as a mother? I will tell her "You are not supposed to encounter any sexual harassment since you are a Girl!" I will teach her not to run away. I will make her believe that she should never be ashamed of an act of some other person who is sick.
I too dream of a world without a Metoo hashtag. But the reality is, it's just an ideal world and far far away. Instead, we can concentrate on preparing our girls to fight for it and our boys fight too for the same cause! Stop this Pink and Blue distinction! Put an end to this Car and Doll differences! Raise them with same values and love them equally and just as a "Home Sapiens".
I assume #MeToo is a movement to understand the magnitude of sexual assault or violence. But, wait! What the Data says here? Only 5 out of 330 of my friends have voiced their concern which is just 1.5%. So, how are we going to infer on the degree of this problem when we do not have the real data?
I was born and brought up in a small industrial town in India, in a middle-class family. Most of the time I was accompanied either by my mom or my dad or my sister. Still, I have experienced Fear, Embarrassment, and Anxiety. I did not know about sexual harassment. I just knew that I was encountering that behavior since I was a GIRL. Oh Okay! Now, I have learned that even MEN can be a victim of Sexual Violence. But, as per my culture, my upbringing and my life, I have never seen a guy getting a crude comment on the road or getting elbowed in a bus. So yes, all my views and perceptions are based on a small-town girl who has lived through this.
The town, where I was brought up, is SAFE for women. There are no incidents of sexual violence, at least nothing that we are aware of. We never stayed out at night. There was no scope either. But there was the culture of guys assembling in a club or by the side of the road for chit-chats, infamously called "ADDA". There were different 'Addas' for different age group and different sets of people, at different places. Even, the purpose is different. I have always seen those "Addas" as the gathering for the street-side-Romeos. They sit there to tease passing girls with their comments, whistles and gawk. I remember, how I used to stop breathing for those few seconds if I had to pass by a "Romeo" group. I hoped that if I could stop my breath for a few seconds, I could let those stare and comments pass by. But how stupid an act was that? Do you call that a Sexual Harassment? I did not know! Still, I am not sure. And, I bet many of my friends still don't consider that as a Sexual Harassment and that's why no #MeToo.
When I completed my school, I moved to Kolkata for my college. The first time, I was all alone in the city. I was the shy girl from a small town. I have stayed at a paying guest and also in a hostel. I have traveled alone. I studied in an Engineering college where girls: boys ratio was 1:10.I have lived through the sexual assault everywhere and every day. I have experienced men of all age hovering on me on a crowded bus. I never understood what a perverted pleasure a man gets feeling hard in a bus full of unknown people and letting a girl know that she is the reason. I have felt anger, humility every day. I had planned on raising my voice. But most of the times, I couldn't. I got down before my stop and rode another bus and bought another ticket. I walked to my stop, many times. I was ashamed to talk about it. I was embarrassed to make a scene out of it. I practiced many times to protest. But, on the crime scene, I was silent. I knew it was not my fault. But, I was never taught to stand for myself. Do you call that a Sexual Assault? I did not know! Still, I am not sure. And, I bet many of my friends still don't consider that as a Sexual Assault and that's why no #MeToo.
I completed my degree and started working. I promoted myself to a taxi or an auto since I was getting a good amount of salary. But, that heinous act did not stop. I was still a commodity to stare at. I still heard nasty comments. I was still touched. I learned that a man's distorted behavior does not depend on age or education or the dress a girl is wearing. It's an illness and it can infect anyone. The guy who was trying to touch my boobs in an auto, hiding his hand under his bag, worked in the same MNC where I worked. I tagged that man as ILL. I took a rickshaw to my home from a nearby railway station on a sunny day. I got down at my home and took out my purse to pay that above 50-year-old man. "Your pant Zip is open" the man commented with an evil smile on his face and pointing out a finger. I was flustered. I did not know how to react. My ears turned red in pain and mortification and anger. I threw the money at him and ran inside. Even, After 15 years of that incident and 12,601KM away, I am struggling while writing it down. Still, I don't understand what sadistic pleasure he got with that comment. Guess what, I was wearing a salwar suit that day. Do you consider all these incidents as Sexual Harassment? I did not know. Still, I don't understand and sadly that's why a no #MeToo.
Today, I do not travel in a public transport. I am married. I stay in United States where I drive. I do not encounter a harassment in my daily life. But I am a mom of a Girl and I know it is my responsibility to protect my child. I know, I can't be with her every time she hears a sexual comment. She will have to win her own battle and figure out a way that suits her nature, her judgment. What I can do as a mother? I will tell her "You are not supposed to encounter any sexual harassment since you are a Girl!" I will teach her not to run away. I will make her believe that she should never be ashamed of an act of some other person who is sick.
I too dream of a world without a Metoo hashtag. But the reality is, it's just an ideal world and far far away. Instead, we can concentrate on preparing our girls to fight for it and our boys fight too for the same cause! Stop this Pink and Blue distinction! Put an end to this Car and Doll differences! Raise them with same values and love them equally and just as a "Home Sapiens".
Posted in: MyBabbles
2 comments:
Very well said. Thanks for sharing. How I wish there is no #Metoo nowadays.
Thank You! But how I wish my daughter never learn anything like #MeToo.
Post a Comment