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I am posting after a long pause. During this gap, a lot of things happened. We took a vacation to India, met a few old friends and ate a lot. Now, I weigh a few points more. I have started taking Zumba and Dance Aerobics Classes. I hurt my knee, again. My daughter grew a few more inches and her vocabulary only includes "No, Thank You". Well, in short, life happened.
So today, I just felt nostalgic about my childhood. My daughter amazes me every day. I see her and I just wonder how diverse is our childhood. Being brought up in a middle-class family in a small town in India, my life was quite simple. But when I look back at those black-n-white memories, they look exquisite. I can see a bag full of joy, fear, dreams, and gratitude. But today, I feel my daughter's childhood is missing that joy of getting a long-awaited gift, the year-long wait for some new dress or shoes or the overloaded happiness on getting an ice-cream without an occasion.
Let's take a peek at my three-year-old daughter's life, from a morning, a few days back. We were late and hurriedly I picked my daughter's rain boots from her collection of 8 pairs of shoes. She observed her shoes for a second and complained "Look, Mama, I am wearing a pink dress today. Why you giving me the blue shoes?" I replied plainly "It's raining outside, you will have to wear your rain boots today". She thought for a moment and replied immediately "Okay, we will have to buy a pair of Pink boots then".
"Hmmm... Really?" I thought and smiled at the flashes of my childhood. I used to get a new shoe once every year during the Durga Puja, our most cherished festival. There was no expectation of getting another one unless the existing one was no more usable. I remember, how I used to cling to the new shoe box, even at night and insisted on going to bed with my new shoes. I used to open the box every few hours to admire the new pairs and waited patiently till the first day of the festival when I got to wear that one. On rainy days, I remember my dad covering my plain white school sneakers with a plastic and securing it with a rubber band. Ummm....the sweet old memories!
A few days back, I went to the supermarket in our neighborhood with my daughter. She ran to the bakery section to pick up her cupcakes. It's her daily practice. After her dinner, I put one on her plate. She tasted the frosting on top and exclaimed "Ummmm, it's yummy!" and put that aside. I insisted "Take a bite, please"! Her immediate reply "No, Thank You, I am done, Mamma"! She seemed determined and I was baffled. Some old hazy pictures flashed in front of my eyes. It was a day when I scored well on my annual exam and returned home with a big smile. My mom, being pleased, offered me to get me to the market and get a pastry of my choice. I was exhilarated. We went to the bakery shop and after lots of considerations, I picked a chocolate pastry. After dinner, I got my pastry and I took small nibbles so that it didn't finish up soon. I just wanted to relish each spoon as long as I could. That became a practice and my incentive to score well in the exam was a simple chocolate pastry. My love for pastry was so renowned that my sister once traveled around 8-10 hours in a bus then train and then rickshaw holding a pastry box in hand to keep the top frosting part intact. Today, after two decades, I can still savor that exhilaration I felt on opening the box. The taste is still intact in my tongue.
The list of differences is endless. I still cherish the excitement I felt when we took a vacation to a nearly sea beach. It was a night journey by train. The first time, I stood in front of those white sand and the blue waves, something happened inside me. I was in awe and in love. The day we were returning, I was so sad that my parents had to tell me repeatedly that we would go back soon. But nowadays, on weekends, my daughter wakes up from sleep and asks “Today is school day or a holiday?” On hearing that it’s a holiday, she tells as a matter of fact “we are going to the sea, right?”
I can go on and on. But I guess, this is life. Someone may argue that it is a good sign that we are progressing forward. Now, we can afford things and thus our kids do not have to feel deprived. Well, maybe that's right. But in my own space, I miss those longings, those small pieces of happiness and how I wish I could gift a flavor of my precious childhood to my child.
So today, I just felt nostalgic about my childhood. My daughter amazes me every day. I see her and I just wonder how diverse is our childhood. Being brought up in a middle-class family in a small town in India, my life was quite simple. But when I look back at those black-n-white memories, they look exquisite. I can see a bag full of joy, fear, dreams, and gratitude. But today, I feel my daughter's childhood is missing that joy of getting a long-awaited gift, the year-long wait for some new dress or shoes or the overloaded happiness on getting an ice-cream without an occasion.
"Hmmm... Really?" I thought and smiled at the flashes of my childhood. I used to get a new shoe once every year during the Durga Puja, our most cherished festival. There was no expectation of getting another one unless the existing one was no more usable. I remember, how I used to cling to the new shoe box, even at night and insisted on going to bed with my new shoes. I used to open the box every few hours to admire the new pairs and waited patiently till the first day of the festival when I got to wear that one. On rainy days, I remember my dad covering my plain white school sneakers with a plastic and securing it with a rubber band. Ummm....the sweet old memories!
A few days back, I went to the supermarket in our neighborhood with my daughter. She ran to the bakery section to pick up her cupcakes. It's her daily practice. After her dinner, I put one on her plate. She tasted the frosting on top and exclaimed "Ummmm, it's yummy!" and put that aside. I insisted "Take a bite, please"! Her immediate reply "No, Thank You, I am done, Mamma"! She seemed determined and I was baffled. Some old hazy pictures flashed in front of my eyes. It was a day when I scored well on my annual exam and returned home with a big smile. My mom, being pleased, offered me to get me to the market and get a pastry of my choice. I was exhilarated. We went to the bakery shop and after lots of considerations, I picked a chocolate pastry. After dinner, I got my pastry and I took small nibbles so that it didn't finish up soon. I just wanted to relish each spoon as long as I could. That became a practice and my incentive to score well in the exam was a simple chocolate pastry. My love for pastry was so renowned that my sister once traveled around 8-10 hours in a bus then train and then rickshaw holding a pastry box in hand to keep the top frosting part intact. Today, after two decades, I can still savor that exhilaration I felt on opening the box. The taste is still intact in my tongue.
The list of differences is endless. I still cherish the excitement I felt when we took a vacation to a nearly sea beach. It was a night journey by train. The first time, I stood in front of those white sand and the blue waves, something happened inside me. I was in awe and in love. The day we were returning, I was so sad that my parents had to tell me repeatedly that we would go back soon. But nowadays, on weekends, my daughter wakes up from sleep and asks “Today is school day or a holiday?” On hearing that it’s a holiday, she tells as a matter of fact “we are going to the sea, right?”
I can go on and on. But I guess, this is life. Someone may argue that it is a good sign that we are progressing forward. Now, we can afford things and thus our kids do not have to feel deprived. Well, maybe that's right. But in my own space, I miss those longings, those small pieces of happiness and how I wish I could gift a flavor of my precious childhood to my child.
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| Walk with me, my child, down that memory lane |
Posted in: MyBabbles
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